The World of Fanfiction
by Collie Parkillo
Summary: Roger was surfing the internet when he discovered something extremely disturbing that the others should probably be notified of. Pure parody, not be taken seriously whatsoever. Oneshot, T for general boyish humor.


**Author's Note: I'm not even sure where this came from. Also, a note, I kind of make fun about every pairing in this archive in this fanfic, and I don't particularly hate any of them, so just bear that in mind. **

**Disclaimer: Lord of the Flies is not mine. Let's not get into what it might be like if it was.**

_The World of Fanfiction_

Roger was bored out of his mind.

He could answer one of the forty new emails he had, all of them from Maurice, but rather than waste his time with that, he decided to surf the web. Scrolling through the most popular websites and just laughing at what stupid phonies the users were was one of his favorite activities.

And then something caught his eye. He clicked on it, scrolled down a bit, clicked on some of the links within it.

For the first time in his life, Roger Dressner was genuinely terrified.

…

The first thing Roger did after discovering _it _was call Jack.

"J-jack..."

Jack, on the other end of the line, immediately knew something was wrong. Roger would usually begin phone calls with 'Pick up the fucking phone, Merridew.' "Hey, Roger. What's up?"

"I found something that I think you should see. Ralph, Simon, Maurice, and everyone else need to, too..."

"What is it?" Jack was worried now. Roger's voice usually didn't quiver like this.

"You'll see."

…

Now that they had all gathered together to see what Roger had found, just about everyone was dying to know what it was.

Maurice had been asking Roger for the last five minutes. There would be a bit of silence and then. "Hey, Roger, what're you showing us?" And Roger would just sigh and roll his eyes.

Simon was a bit terrified and was hiding behind Ralph. Jack sat down on the arm of Roger's swivel chair. "I think we're all here, now can you show us what it is you found?" the redhead said impatiently.

Roger took a shaky breath. "Alright, everyone. I've gathered you all here today because I've found...fanfiction."

There was a collective gasp and some murmurs of 'what's that?' Jack just raised an eyebrow. "Like that thing teenage girls write?"

"Yes, exactly."

"What's so bad about it?" Ralph asked. "Don't tell me you brought us all here just because of some dumb fanfics."

Roger shivered. "They're not just dumb fanfics, they're dumb fanfics...about us."

There was another collective gasp.

…

"So you mean to say that...people write fanfiction about _us?" _Jack didn't look angry for once, just flabbergasted.

Maurice, on the other hand, was ecstatic. "I'm famous! Roger, we're famous! Ooh, I wonder what they've written about us! I bet it's really cool!"

Simon nearly fainted, but Ralph caught him. Simon leaned on his blonde companion, looking extremely uncomfortable. "But...what is there to write about us?"

"You'd be surprised to see what they've come up with." Roger grimaced and put into the search criteria 'characters: Roger and Simon.'

Everyone crowded aroundthe computer. Simon let go of Ralph and poked his head through the crowd of people to see.

His expression changed from embarrassed to shocked. Then Simon fainted. Jack had gotten red in the face and had folded his arms. "You and...Simon?! Simon, of all people!"

"Just wait and see what they've said about you."

Roger was about to click on something else when Maurice shoved him out of the way and squeezed himself into the chair next to him.

…

He put into the search criteria 'characters: Roger and Maurice' and began scrolling through the fanfiction. Unlike Simon, he was not embarrassed or shocked, but a grin came onto his face.

"I knew they'd find out about that sometime!"

"What the fuck?!" Roger's face turned red.

"Wow, this is really accurate! You are like this! Roger, these fanfiction authors really know you, right down to your music taste!"

Roger elbowed Maurice hard, sending him careening off of the chair and onto one of Roger's black beanbags where Ralph was sitting with Simon, who was still passed out.

Simon's head was in Ralph's lap and Ralph was running his fingers through Simon's hair while looking down at him lovingly. Frankly, nobody was surprised.

"Hey, what about me? I'm chief! There ought to be something good written about me!" Jack put his hand on the mouse and looked through the first page of fanfics. His face turned red, then pale. "Ralph...um..."

Ralph gently moved Simon's head out of his lap. The choir boy in question woke up and Ralph walked over to the laptop. "What is it?"

Jack's mouth moved but no sound came out. Ralph looked at the fanfic he was pointing at and made a squeaking noise.

"You mean...they think we're..._together?!"_

…

"Why would I want to do _that _with _you _of all people?!" Ralph had turned scarlet from embarrassment.

Maurice added cheerfully, "Well, you've had a lot of eye-sex."

"What the fuck does that mean?!" Jack grabbed Maurice by his sweatshirt and looked like he was ready to pulverize him.

"Hey, lay off, Merridew. He's just stupid. You get used to it after awhile."

Jack grunted and put down Maurice, who looked gratefully at Roger. "My savior!"

Roger groaned. "Hey, Samneric, I think I found some about you."

The twin boys leaned forward and were slightly mortified by what they saw. "Um...we aren't...we didn't...what?!"

"We know you didn't," Ralph said, putting a hand on the twins' shoulders. "These writers are obviously not right in the head."

Simon, who had since gotten up from the bean bag, asked "May I have the laptop?"

"Sure, whatever you want."

…

Simon didn't look particularly disturbed by whatever it was that he was reading, since he had tilted the laptop away from everyone else. He just looked extremely embarrassed.

"What're you reading?" Jack peered over his shoulder. "You and _Ralph?! _Pfft, who'd think of that?! You're a fucking loser and Ralph is..." He realized how that sounded and shut up.

Simon blushed and quickly closed the laptop. "I just...was wondering..."

"I told you that the fanfiction writers had _something _right!" Maurice said triumphantly. "Although I still can't decide whether I...what's the word they use...ship Ralph and Jack or Ralph and Simon."

There was a collective "WHAT THE FUCK?!" Especially from Ralph and Jack.

Roger took the laptop back from Simon and motioned to Jack to come over. "Look at this." His face was flushed. Jack sighed.

"Why do they ship me with everyone?"

"Hey, this fanfic looks harmless." The summary said something about a girl. "Girls are good."

…

Five minutes later, Jack had locked himself in the bathroom, Simon was on the verge of tears, and even Maurice looked mildly disturbed.

Ralph was just plain confused. "What the hell was that? I wouldn't like a-" He stopped himself. "Oh god, the shippers are getting to my brain."

Roger sighed exasperatedly. "Why is Jack in the bathroom?" Maurice asked.

"I think he's just done with this whole archive."

"How done? 300%? 15%? 5000000000000000%?"

"...What?"

Maurice rolled his eyes. "It's a Tumblr fangirl thing."

"Wait, you've been on the internet before?" All eyes turned to Maurice.

There was an awkward silence. "Um..."

.

.

.

**Plot twist: I am actually Maurice and am writing fanfiction and laughing at all of you mere mortals who think I'm a teenage girl. **


End file.
